it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
