did you get engaged???
I CAN MOONWALK!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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