last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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