i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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