How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
