I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
