I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
