I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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