did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
