Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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