That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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