Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why was I lying under a truck last night?