It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
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Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
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He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.