Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
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the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
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the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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