Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
