I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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