Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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