whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
