Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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