just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
