So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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