I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
