We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
