i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm like, not good at living.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
