Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
