Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
