i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
