I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
