he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
