Your face is a jimmy john
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
