Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
