all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sorry about my life...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
