I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't turn off my feet"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
