He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
