If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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