It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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