she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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