I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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