Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I need to sanitize my soul.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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