My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
