your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
