I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
