should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
