This house was built for laser tag.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
