The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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