BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
