I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
