what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize