i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
