first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
