After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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