now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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