Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
