Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
