I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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