Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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