Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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