well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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