I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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