I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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