there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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