We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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