she woke up with a sticky ear
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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