you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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