That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
