You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
