I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
