just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
someone owes me an orgasm
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
