thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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