Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
