then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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