marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
